its 7am now and i am still awake.. i din even make the effort to sleep because my mind was too awake.. working last night was hectic, walking here and there for almost 8 hours straight (apart from my 20 mins break) weakened my leg and i was tired to the max until i din even try to make the effort to talk to my colleagues.. a customer even asked me if everyone was in a bad mood because he saw that most of us had this gloomy look on their faces.. cant blame them, it was a bz night, due to the formula 1 night race, a lot of tourists stopped by because the bar was just beside the track... i was lucky that i was stationed in the indoor part of the bar because the loud noises of the cars were really unbearable and annoying to hear even from the inside.. after work i was still tired, but when i reached home at 3am, i started to go online and have been doing that ever since.. went to buy breakfast half an hour ago, and im forcing myself not to fall asleep now.. haha

planning to go around WINDOW shopping later this morning.. nid more exercise!

i painted my nails black today, shows how emo i am.. never had a good experience with painting my nails, it always goes out of the line and ends up having my fingers being painted too.. envy those kind of girls that do their nails perfectly, and wonder if they are alwys that patient and stable when the brush hits the nails? in my mind, i always think that its okay to paint out of the line, it will be washed off eventually.. in life, im also like that, i always think that it is okay to make mistakes no matter how many times i've done the same thing. in the end, everything will fall into place, i just know. even if it means having a bad ending. at least it is solved.

i dont know what am i talkig about, my mind goes crazy when i am tired. mentally tired.

on the bright side, school is starting on monday and i get to meet my crazy classmates after 3 months. looking forward to this 2 year degree, and cant wait for it to end.

i know you will say that im crazy to want to work instead of study, but i really want to. yea yea, studying is better, no pressure and stuff, but really, is that so? how many times have u heard students complaining about their lives? isnt it the same with work? us human beings are never contented with the life we lead. we always find a way to complain about EVERYTHING. when u work, at least u get to have your own stable income, instead of parents' money. and i like that. i admit i am a great spender, and it kills me to spend my dad's money, believe it o not. i wanna embark on that dangerous journey of worrying about my own income, my own life, my own future. no one can tell me what i shud or shudnt do about it. for now, yes, they still can, because im just a student. im just someone who still relies on my parents. and i try so much not to hurt them, despite what life throws at me. i know myself very well, i still do the things that are worthless, but i know the limit. i do.

mind going blank. dot dot dot.

im such a weirdo. i nid sleeping pills